19 days to go!

Well well, is been a while I know, but let’s just say that i am evidently getting lazy. My entire body is tight taunt and about ready to explode.

At this point, whatever I need to do, I do immediately and cannot risk keeping anything for later. I shave every 4 days, have a pedicure every week and recheck and repack everything. I think I am actually adding to my exhaustion. The nesting phase just hit me and yesterday for the first time since February, I washed dishes! Ha! I had to fight the need to go outside and rake the fallen leaves in the compound and the only thing that stopped me is that the activity required me to bend. When I see dudus I want to fumigate the entire house, when I see a messy kitchen top I want to scrub down the floors…. Hehehe… this is exciting.

Brycen is fully cooked now and all systems are go. He is basically just chilling and putting on his last few grams while still in the comfort of my fabulous womb and should be about 2.8kgs. I am now used to my swollen feet, numbness, acne, dark skin, plus new aches and pains that seem to pop up every time I change position. Last night I actually read up on natural ways to induce labor coz I am thinking if he is ready, why he heck is he still in there?

Will be having my internal exam on Monday (yes Lilian it was postponed 2 weeks) to see how things are progressing. Am actually not looking forward to anyone or anything entering my vejayjay and I have heard that the process is rather uncomfortable.

Where are my ankles?

This is it, surely. At this point, there is nothing i can do to bring the swelling in my feet down. My fingers are also constantly numb and puffed up.

In my mind, Brycen is coming in 17 days, hehehe... so i am kinda ok with looking the way i look right now. Lucy said i was beautifully fat, when i was whining about how ugly i looked and felt. I guess i should look in the mirror less often and use my mental mirror to imagine what i look like.

I have to see my OB on Monday to determine how Brycen is coming out, i know he is coming out naturally, i do not want it any other way; but i guess the doctor needs to be sure for himself. Will update you on how it goes...

Labor, let’s bring on the pain!

I do not know my pain threshold, neither do I like being in pain. I yelp when I hit my knee on the corner of a table and cringe at the sight of an injection. I am a first time mom and believe it or not, I am so ready for labor and delivery.

I have overdosed on literature and videos of the whole labor process and and I can actually visualize my lil’ man easing (ok, maneuvering) through my exit. But that is just it, somehow, I do not “see” the pain, the screams and all the drama that I am sure I will cause, all I am seeing in lil’ Brycen, knowing that it is time to meet his mama, using all the little energy he has to push through the muscles and obstacles of my birth canal. I see him, with eagerness, wondering where this road is leading to, and I, with triple eagerness, screaming my lungs out, telling my mind to relax and probably with the least decency imaginable, opening my precious insides for all to see as my angel make his maiden appearance into this glorious world.

I see him, with his round button nose, with a squint in his deep dark eyes, as he comes out into the light. He takes his first breath (the elated feeling of which reduces him to tears),and me, buried in indescribable pain (a feeling which instantly disappears when I his cries); join him in the momentous occasion as I see him for the first time and all glory glory glory be to God!

So pain? What pain, bring it on!

5 Weeks to go!

5 weeks to go, Really!!!

Well i am so so ready. Everything is packed, and i am ready to pop. Last night i visualised how it would all begin. It would be in the morning at about 4am when the minor contractions will start. I am thinking i would probably wait an hour or two to see if they are consistent before i call Brian and Julie and let them know Brycen is on his way. Though I will be at my Mom's she will be the last person to know, because she will probably get a spike in her blood pressure once she finds out. So i will try n keep it from her as much as i can. At about 7am, when the contractions have intensified and are now painful, we will head to the hospital which is 10 mins away and things will progress from there... right! Hahaha... well this is the plan that i am focusing on in my head and will continue to visualise it until it comes to fruition.

At 34 and a half weeks, well i am hanging in there. I do not feel like i have gained much weight, but i guess i should have considering that Brycen should be about 2.1 kgs at this point. If he grows steadily gaining the recommended .22 grams per week, we should be 3.4 kgs by birth. Ha.... that seems big!

My adorable friends threw me a surprise baby shower on the 25th of September. I was so wonderfully surprised and we had the best time ever. I so love you girlfriends and God bless your kind and thoughtful hearts. I will upload pics when i get them from Irwin.

I am not quite sure which position Brycen is at, at this point coz the kicks and movements are all over the mid-section. Last doctors appointment he was head down and i sure hope he has not moved.

Meanwhile Aunt Angie is planning to make a singer out of you Baby B, mbu you gotta be a superstar. She will train you and nurture your talent (hoping you inherit the singing voice from your mama) and Justin Bieber will have nothing on you.

I wish someone had told me...

I found this on one of my favorite baby sites and i thought it would help my readers when they are expecting mothers, and myself. (irene, lils, take special note, lol). It is a really good read, i promise...

…that never say never.
…that your mind is stronger than the contractions. Even when it feels like they are going to take over you your mind always overrules.
…how much it burns when the baby’s head is just starting to come out and in the process of coming out.
…that "sleep when baby sleeps" is soooo much easier said than done.
…that Breastfeeding in the beginning can be hard.
…that your baby won't always latch right away.
…how EMPOWERING birth can truly be!
…Water water water! WATER. Water before, during, and after labor.
…that cramps afterwards can hurt worse than labor.
…about the hemorrhoids after a vaginal birth
…that it is ok that your milk doesn’t come in right away.
…that babies are ok with just colostrum for the first week
...that to me it really did feel like the biggest bowel movement as my baby was making her way down past my pelvic down and into crowning.
…that you may very well sweat uncontrollably for weeks after the birth, and pee like a race horse as your body flushes all that water out.
…how DIFFERENT LABOR IS FOR EVERYONE!!
…that lochia (post-partum bleeding) smells just like the lovely smells of your new baby and NOTHING like a menstrual period.
…that breast milk is AWESOME for cradle cap.
…that the breast feeding cramps during the first few days post-partum would be fairly intense, like early labor.
…that just 10 minutes of direct sun light on cracked/scabbed nipples will heal them overnight.
…that during contractions relax your jaw! It sounds silly, but you'll feel yourself tensing up & your jaw is a reflection of your pelvis. So relax it & your body can get more out of the contraction.
…to recognize that YES the contractions are painful, but as you feel them, recognize them for what they are, don't tell yourself they aren't bad, talk through each contractions, these are painful, but I am getting closer to seeing my baby, this will end.
…that your breasts can leak a lot at night. Make sure you have a water protector on your bed, and sleep with a towel so you don't have to change the sheets every morning.
…that its not so much about being the kind of parent (or birthing mother) as it is about it's the type of child God makes for you that makes you the parent (or birthing mother) you become. Rest and let things be the way they are.
…how hungry I would be after.
…to write down what you want to remember.
…not turn down help. If anyone offers, be shameless.
…to be ready for panic attacks/crying fits/losing all logic.
…that you might not get the natural urge to push, like you read/learn about. You might have to do it willingly and consciously.
…that if you look at your vaginal area in the first week postpartum, don't freak out! Everything will shrink down and tighten up in time.
…that modesty really does go out the window (for me anyhow), a lot of people are going to see you naked.
…that having a birthing partner can be very helpful if you're birthing in a hospital, even if it means that your partner is the one wiping your bum when the nurses don't come help you while you yell that you're pooping.
...that the pain can be so strong during transition that you may throw up... a lot... while pooping and shooting pee out at the same time
...that it’s okay to make noise
…that when the contractions are so bad that you feel terrified of the next one coming or feel like crying, try as hard as you can to clear your head and not think about the next contraction.
…that if you lose a lot of blood, rebuild your iron asap and rest as much as you can in the coming weeks. It can take a very long time for the dizzy spells and things to go away.
…that you can ask the nurses to take pictures if you don't have someone to do it for you. Don't forget to take that first "family picture" while still at the hospital.
…to change your breast pads OFTEN! Air your breasts out as much as you can! I spend the first weeks after birth topless pretty much.
…that pushing the baby out takes time
…that warm baths are amazing during labor
…that Cabbage leaves, fresh from the fridge are the best things in the world for sore, full-to-the-brim breasts. Sooo soothing, and cheap!
…that it can be normal for the labia to be really swollen after birth!!!
…that Breast milk is great to clear skin up if u break out after having baby. Yes put the breastmilk on ur face like mask it's great!
…that you will still look like you're 5 months pregnant the week after you deliver. ...thatIt takes a while for the belly to firm up again. Be patient.
…to have someone take a few photos along the way during labor
…that it was okay to nap in between my contraction
…that being stitched up is way worse than any part of labor.
...that it might not hurt when your milk comes in.
…to take the pushing part more slowly
…how exhausting pushing is.
…that tensing my muscles would make the pain more intense.
…that fear made the pain more intense.
…that if you really want to push in a squatting position but are too tired, try a supported squat with your labor support
…that after birth, just pee in the shower for a few days. Get in, turn it on, pee, and then use the shower and/or peri bottle to clean everything.
…that when getting induced and going natural that "getting rest" does not mean neglecing to manage the contractions.
…that until your milk comes in, your baby will want to stay attached to your boob constantly.
…that babies smell so good, and that I could fall in love so utterly and completely and instantly.
…that as you near pushing and your body starts "pre-pushes" you feel like your bowels are going to be pushed out.
…that If the baby is down for a nap and you want to catch a shower, take the baby monitor in the bathroom with you.
…that If you start to shake uncontrollably near transition, it is totally ok and normal. Just lay down and let your body take over.
…that you will miss being pregnant.
…that it's strange that the focus is off of you and onto the baby. People are so nice and helpful when you're pregnant, but once that baby arrives, you're old news. It hurts.
…that upper thigh pain during transition. It was killer! I had no idea that body part might hurt. It was scary!
…that don't feel bad telling people "right now is not a good time to come over."
…that sleep when the baby sleeps, seriously.
…to take sitz bath as often as you can. I didn't tear at all, but it helped with the soreness.
…not to be afraid of pushing on my back. In the end it was the only position I had energy for.
…to rest for more than one contraction while pushing.
…not to forget to prepare for pushing! I had mentally prepared myself for the pain during contractions, but not for pushing.
…that delivering the placenta starts to feel like delivering the baby all over again,

My First Antenatal Class, Haha!

Last Saturday I attended my first birth/antenatal class. It was interesting and not what I expected to say the least.

I went with high expectations and excitement to IHK- I mean birth class!, this was a new thing (in Uganda) and having read the detailed time table of the topics for each week on the bulletin board on the maternity ward a week before, I was sure this was going the real thing like I had heard from friends like Lucy and read from BabyCenter. Okay, I think I forgot that I live in Uganda and I got my head buried in the stories I was reading online.

I sauntered into the class and 10:45 am, restless, eager and mad at myself for being 15 mins late. I had already missed three classes (plus the most important, to me, about labor and birth) and thus had resolved to make the most out of the remaining 5 classes. I was escorted by a nice nurse to the physiotherapy room where the classes were scheduled to be held. Before this, however, this nice nurse had no idea about the classes when I asked her at the reception. She was sure I was either lost or mistaken and had first told me that the classes were not held at the hospital and that if they were, Saturday was not the day. My heart sunk for 10 seconds and I felt a slight mixture of disappointment and anger begin to rise from bulging tummy. I mean, I had been reliably told by my midwife a week before about the classes and it was on her recommendation that I was there. Was she wrong? Did she tell me the wrong day, or location? After having a hurried breakfast, driving like a maniac in the morning rain and parking in a muddy parking spot all in the hope of being on time, and then this! Someone was truly gonna pay. Strike 1!

Luckily, before my heated emotions rose to heightened levels enough to be translated into ape-like rage, the nice nurse calmly asked me to take a seat while she made further inquiries. Lucky girl! Hehehe….

I sat on the hard bench and I waited for a while, waving off a few rude flies away from my feet. After 5 mins, which seemed like 30 to me, I gave this “nice” (now seemingly less nice) nurse one stern look then she immediately dialed a number. I walked back to her desk and asked her to direct me to the classroom if she were busy and she went “I am making the call just now, to confirm your class”- Strike 2!

I sat back down and 30 seconds later she asked me to follow her to the physiotherapy room. Yay! With my protruding self in tow, we walked through the triage, the children’s center, the staff dinning, the hospital kitchen, the oxygen store and towards what seemed like the hospital backyard; until I finally saw the Physiotherapy Room sign. Nice nurse (now she seemed was nice again) introduced me to our class instructor and we exchanged greetings. Shockingly, I was the first student to arrive. So I was asked to wait (again) for the others. It was understandable since it was a rainy morning so I figured my other classmates were delayed. So I busied myself familiarizing myself with the room. I saw birth balls, floor mats, a treadmill, 2 beds, and some cushy comfortable looking like floor things. This is it, I thought. I remembered a picture from Afromeetseuro blog by Lucy with similar like equipment of her birth class and I my excitement grew. I was like wooo…it’s the real thing. I was however concerned that the room was kinda messy, and all this equipment was piled into one corner of the room and there were chairs arranged in a semi-circle. They I had better not make us sit on these hard chairs, I thought to myself, for I was dressed in cotton crop pants convenient enough to do squats, stretches and generally sit on the floor and do what I imagined should be done in the antenatal classes like practice breathing and go through the labor and birth positions, (I thought this should be done at every class.

I had waited about 5 mins when three other ladies and one gentleman walked in and we were ready to begin. Our topic for the day was about how to bathe the baby, clean the cord and take care of baby skin. To my disappointment, we were asked to sit on the dreaded chairs! Urrgghhh. Strike 3!

The class started at 11:00am and I sat unhappily on the ka chair. The instructor seemed shy and a tad too young, if you asked me. She stammered through the first few sentences of her talk and I felt sorry for her. I lessened my frown (from not sitting on the floor) at her, and forged a coy smile in an effort to ease her now obvious nervousness. She went through the baby bathing, cord cleaning and skin care techniques and gradually I started paying attention. We asked questions were we needed to and she answered (not to my satisfaction) but as traditionally as she could. I realized, as the class went ahead that this was nothing like what i had anticipated. After the topic discussion, I asked her if she could recap on last weeks’ lesson about labor and birth. She gladly obliged and she ran through it. As she went on, I realized that this was not like the classes I had read about, nor was the experience going to be anything like what I was reading about in my Bradley book. This was clearly a Uganda- oriented class and everything she said was as traditional, out-dated and this-is-what-my-grandma-said kinda stuff. She said we didn’t need to do any exercises, that there is nothing that can be done about the pain, episiotomies are almost inevitable and nothing about breathing techniques (I specifically asked her about these and she gave a 2 second demonstration by panting like a thirsty cat). Strike 4!

I had, by now, learned to hide my disappointments and was just going with the flow. One of the ladies started asking, what I originally thought were ignorant questions, but later realized she was naïve. She asked what she can do so that her baby does not grow big, if she can wear a swimming costume and a C-section scar not show, if the c-section scar was black or brown and if as time goes by the stomach gets heavy. Needless to say, she gave us quite a laugh.

To cut the long experience short, this class is basically a discussion on what to expect basing on tradition in Uganda. I was the only one in the third trimester, which obviously showed that there were no rules or guidelines that are followed. Now I am not so eager anymore, but if only to get acquainted with the hospital staff and environment for when Brycen comes, I will continue to attend. I feel like I could be a better birth class instructor just from what I have read, but then again, this is Uganda, and I do not know if people are ready to be told that the truth about Natural Childbirth.

Dang! (No more strikes coz i have lost all hope)

Third Trimester "You Know When..."

From one of the favorite reads on the right, this is my third trimester “You Know When…”
• There are food stains on all my clothes that I do not notice till after my meals
• Every time I sneeze while seated at my desk I hit my tummy on the desk a little too hard. (sorry Baby B)
• I break a sweat walking from the car to the office, and from the living room to my bedroom.
• I Exercise in my head more than actual exercise.
• I select my shoes based on which would be the easiest to put on.
• I visit the bedroom where Brycen’s stuff is every evening and refold and rearrange everything everyday
• I do not know what I lived for before expecting. What else is there? Lol
• I do not put any thought to shaving, I just do it and do not care when I have missed a patch.
• I get random hot flashes suddenly and the ice is never cold enough to keep me cool
• My ankles look like… ankles? Well I no longer have any.
• I want to eat wedding cakes every Saturday.
• I use my toes to pick up things off the ground.